1 00:00:00,300 --> 00:00:03,235 (Man) Who'll start me at 100? 100 for a start. 2 00:00:03,303 --> 00:00:05,328 100 I'm bid. 100 I'm bid. 3 00:00:05,405 --> 00:00:08,272 Who'll give me 10, who'll make it 110? I'm looking for 110. 4 00:00:08,341 --> 00:00:10,400 110? 110 I'm bid. 110? 5 00:00:10,477 --> 00:00:13,969 Who'll make it 20? Come on, gentlemen, who'll make it 20? 6 00:00:14,047 --> 00:00:16,447 120 I'm bid. It's with you, madam, at 120. 7 00:00:16,516 --> 00:00:18,984 Do I hear 50? 150 anywhere? 8 00:00:19,052 --> 00:00:23,751 Come on, gentlemen, that's a genuine antique. They don't come up every day. 150? 9 00:00:23,823 --> 00:00:25,620 150 I'm bid. 10 00:00:28,495 --> 00:00:30,929 Come on, gentlemen, I'm looking for 350. 11 00:00:30,997 --> 00:00:33,295 350 anywhere? 12 00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:36,335 Don't lose it, madam, don't lose it for another 50. 13 00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:39,866 350 anywhere? 350 I'm bid. 14 00:00:39,939 --> 00:00:43,170 At 350. Who'll make it four? I'm looking for four. 15 00:00:43,243 --> 00:00:46,110 Any more? At 350. 16 00:00:46,179 --> 00:00:50,377 Are you all done? At 350? At 350... 17 00:00:51,751 --> 00:00:53,844 Lovejoy. 18 00:00:55,822 --> 00:00:57,449 (Clock chimes) 19 00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:08,487 (Bang) 20 00:02:14,234 --> 00:02:17,499 I know you're here, Lovejoy. I can smell you. 21 00:02:35,388 --> 00:02:37,856 I'm gonna have your arse, Lovejoy. 22 00:03:04,551 --> 00:03:07,179 - What do you want, Gimbert? - I want my rent, Lovejoy. 23 00:03:07,253 --> 00:03:09,414 My rent! 24 00:03:19,165 --> 00:03:24,068 Mr. Gimbert's been up all night in that casino in Great Yarmouth. 25 00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:29,302 Drinking gin and playing cards, haven't you? 26 00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:32,435 You scored with the gin but your luck ran out at the tables. 27 00:03:32,512 --> 00:03:36,039 Why do you have to take out all your pent-up aggression on me? 28 00:03:36,115 --> 00:03:39,380 Because I despise you, Lovejoy, always have. 29 00:03:40,186 --> 00:03:44,145 You're a deceitful, irresponsible, little turd who never pays his rent, 30 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:48,422 who cheated me out of that luscious porcelain Ting bowl at that auction at Lavenham, 31 00:03:48,494 --> 00:03:51,657 - and who deflowered my sister. - That was six years ago. 32 00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:55,599 - She was only 15 then. - Not Amanda, the Ting bowl. 33 00:03:55,668 --> 00:03:58,660 - How long do you bear grudges? - Years and years. 34 00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:01,832 I'll kill you one of these days, Lovejoy, I can promise you that. 35 00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:03,205 Two sugars, no milk. 36 00:04:04,177 --> 00:04:06,737 Sorry about the rent. 37 00:04:06,813 --> 00:04:11,944 I've, uh... I've been a bit strapped lately. 38 00:04:12,018 --> 00:04:14,714 Tell me something new, Lovejoy. 39 00:04:16,155 --> 00:04:18,783 I'll tell you what about the rent. 40 00:04:18,858 --> 00:04:22,453 I still have a couple of tea chests I haven't had a chance to comb through. 41 00:04:22,528 --> 00:04:26,225 - Oh, no, don't ask me to scan them. - I'm not asking, Lovejoy. 42 00:04:26,299 --> 00:04:28,062 You will scan them. 43 00:04:28,134 --> 00:04:30,659 That lets you off one week's rent. 44 00:04:30,737 --> 00:04:32,466 The other seven, 45 00:04:32,538 --> 00:04:34,506 I want by Friday. 46 00:04:34,574 --> 00:04:36,235 Certainly. 47 00:04:42,348 --> 00:04:44,646 In the antiques business, doing a scan 48 00:04:44,717 --> 00:04:48,483 means going through a job lot of stuff and sorting out the genuine article 49 00:04:48,554 --> 00:04:51,216 from the shoddy crapology of the modern world. 50 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:54,124 I only do it when I'm broke. Which is fairly often. 51 00:04:54,193 --> 00:04:57,128 Well, at least it's a cut above being on the knocker, as we say. 52 00:04:57,196 --> 00:05:00,029 Translation, going round banging on the doors, 53 00:05:00,099 --> 00:05:02,465 asking the public if they have anything old for sale. 54 00:05:02,535 --> 00:05:05,163 A sure sign of impending failure in the antique game. 55 00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:07,206 Did I say game? 56 00:05:07,273 --> 00:05:09,935 Antiques is a lovely but murderous business 57 00:05:10,009 --> 00:05:14,207 filled with love, fear, greed, death, loathing and ecstasy. 58 00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:16,743 Well, I've owned up... 59 00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:19,114 and I'm the only one you can trust in this game. 60 00:05:28,594 --> 00:05:32,189 - Motor ready, Brian? - I told you she was last week. 61 00:05:32,265 --> 00:05:34,563 Running like a dream. 62 00:05:35,735 --> 00:05:39,501 See, all I need... is the readies. 63 00:05:42,208 --> 00:05:46,702 In order to have readies, I need to work and to work I need wheels. 64 00:05:46,779 --> 00:05:50,215 Ah, well. Catch 22, they calls that, don't they? 65 00:05:57,490 --> 00:05:58,889 Lovejoy? 66 00:05:59,625 --> 00:06:00,956 Lovejoy? 67 00:06:03,596 --> 00:06:06,929 - Not now, Eric. - You're avoiding me, Lovejoy. 68 00:06:06,999 --> 00:06:08,227 Yes, Eric, I'm avoiding you. 69 00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:10,929 That's why you found me going down the middle of Market Lane 70 00:06:11,003 --> 00:06:12,937 taking advantage of the natural cover. 71 00:06:13,005 --> 00:06:15,405 Well, I'm your trainee, aren't I? 72 00:06:15,475 --> 00:06:18,774 Apart from heavy metal music, you're a piteously ignorant of life 73 00:06:18,845 --> 00:06:21,939 but what is most painful is that you are completely ignorant of antiques. 74 00:06:22,014 --> 00:06:24,039 - That's why you're teaching me. - No. 75 00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:28,816 I'm teaching you because your father asked me and I was financially desperate enough to agree. 76 00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:31,584 Well, I've read those books, Wills On Victorian glass 77 00:06:31,657 --> 00:06:33,625 and Baines On Brass Instruments. 78 00:06:33,693 --> 00:06:37,459 - And did they enlighten you? - No, they were totally boring, really. 79 00:06:37,530 --> 00:06:39,157 When you teach a beginner about antiques, 80 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:43,032 you start by seeing if he has a feeling for craftsmanship, it's everything. 81 00:06:43,102 --> 00:06:44,694 I've been teaching you a month, 82 00:06:44,771 --> 00:06:47,706 and you still think Faberg� eggs are crusted chocolates. 83 00:06:47,774 --> 00:06:49,765 Sorry, Eric, can't do it. 84 00:06:49,842 --> 00:06:53,107 Well, if it's a question of money, I'm sure my dad will pay extra. 85 00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:56,580 - In advance? - If you want, Lovejoy. 86 00:06:56,649 --> 00:07:00,141 Mr. Lovejoy, I'm your teacher, remember? 87 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,753 - These are the coins Mr. Bexon donated? - Yes. 88 00:07:03,823 --> 00:07:06,792 Roman Aureus, gold Claudius, centurion engraving. 89 00:07:07,393 --> 00:07:09,554 Donated by finder. 90 00:07:09,629 --> 00:07:12,257 Roman province of the Isle of Man? 91 00:07:12,331 --> 00:07:16,131 We get the oddest conditions appended to our donations at times. 92 00:07:16,202 --> 00:07:20,400 Of course we know that the Isle of Man was never colonized by the Romans. 93 00:07:20,473 --> 00:07:23,965 But the donor was insistent that we adhere to the wording. 94 00:07:24,043 --> 00:07:28,605 Well, perhaps you'd like to see some of our local Roman antiquity. 95 00:07:28,681 --> 00:07:31,115 Now, you will know, of course... 96 00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:51,766 - Morning, Fred. - Morning. 97 00:07:57,643 --> 00:08:00,077 (Typewriter keys clicking slowly) 98 00:08:04,884 --> 00:08:09,253 I didn't know you could type, Amanda. Put you to work, has he? 99 00:08:09,956 --> 00:08:12,754 I hate being called Amanda. I'm bored with my name. 100 00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:16,556 - It doesn't suit me. - Oh, dear. When did this come on? 101 00:08:16,629 --> 00:08:20,395 I've always hated it and don't call me Mandy either. 102 00:08:20,466 --> 00:08:22,559 - Or I'll kill you. - Too late. 103 00:08:22,635 --> 00:08:24,694 Your brother's already offered to do that. 104 00:08:24,770 --> 00:08:27,500 Have you seen him? He hasn't been back all night. 105 00:08:27,573 --> 00:08:30,303 He's gone over to the Fens to shoot ducks. 106 00:08:30,376 --> 00:08:32,003 Or youth hostelers. 107 00:08:32,078 --> 00:08:34,512 Oh, that's nice, isn't it? 108 00:08:34,580 --> 00:08:38,983 I offered to stand in for his sick secretary and he buzzes off for a bit of sport. 109 00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:47,582 Never mind, you can take me for a nice long intimate lunch. 110 00:08:47,660 --> 00:08:51,858 I'm sorry but I've got to collect some stuff from a house at Stradbroke. 111 00:08:51,931 --> 00:08:53,626 Charlie said the key would be here. 112 00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:57,692 Ah, yes. The late Mr. Bexon's place. I'll get it for you. 113 00:09:02,942 --> 00:09:05,934 Ah, thank you Mr. Bigelow. 114 00:09:06,012 --> 00:09:09,641 Perhaps you'd like to take Miss Gimbert for a long intimate lunch. 115 00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:37,275 - Is it valuable? - Dutch, fake. 116 00:09:37,343 --> 00:09:40,005 But look closely, the lenses. 117 00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:44,106 They're whittled down spectacle lenses from some flea market in Amsterdam. 118 00:09:44,183 --> 00:09:46,651 Any optician will tell you how it's done. 119 00:09:50,089 --> 00:09:53,024 - So it's not ivory then? - Made in Taiwan. 120 00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:58,189 They simulated the grain with a wax coating pitted with a kitchen cheese shredder. 121 00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,892 Diluted in phosphoric acid. 122 00:10:03,502 --> 00:10:05,129 Thought as much. 123 00:10:05,638 --> 00:10:07,265 (Smashes) 124 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,168 (Lovejoy) Oh. 125 00:10:14,180 --> 00:10:15,647 It's amazing. 126 00:10:16,215 --> 00:10:17,842 It's amazing. 127 00:10:20,853 --> 00:10:23,014 An old master, isn't it? 128 00:10:23,089 --> 00:10:27,287 A not so old master, Eric, but a masterful hand nonetheless. 129 00:10:31,030 --> 00:10:32,657 J... 130 00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:34,959 Bexon? 131 00:10:35,034 --> 00:10:37,798 - That's the name of the bloke who died here. - Right. 132 00:10:40,239 --> 00:10:44,938 Suddenly, Mr. Bexon's become a very interesting person. 133 00:10:57,356 --> 00:10:59,688 Suppose this Bexon bloke was a bit of a joker 134 00:10:59,759 --> 00:11:03,024 - and put his name on an old picture. - No, it's his painting. 135 00:11:03,095 --> 00:11:04,756 (Door opens) 136 00:11:22,448 --> 00:11:26,077 (US accent) Oh, hello, there, uh... Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. 137 00:11:26,152 --> 00:11:28,780 We tried the bell, it didn't seem to work. 138 00:11:28,854 --> 00:11:30,651 Hi. 139 00:11:30,723 --> 00:11:32,384 We saw your motorcycle outside. 140 00:11:32,458 --> 00:11:36,053 Are you something to do with the auction or the realtor? 141 00:11:36,128 --> 00:11:39,097 No, we're just cleaning out some rubbish, actually. 142 00:11:39,165 --> 00:11:42,157 Rubbish? Looks kinda... tidy to me. 143 00:11:44,136 --> 00:11:47,367 If you're thinking of bidding, have a look around. Feel free. 144 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:51,376 - Oh, we're not buyers, we're family. - Mr. Bexon's? 145 00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:53,708 Yeah. Well, we call ourselves family. 146 00:11:53,779 --> 00:11:56,475 But not his, his sister's. He was our uncle. 147 00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:59,575 I'm Edward and this is Nicole. 148 00:11:59,652 --> 00:12:02,985 Our mother went to the States just after the war, so we never knew our uncle. 149 00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:07,151 Unfortunately he died just before we'd scheduled a vacation here. 150 00:12:07,226 --> 00:12:11,162 We thought we'd at least take a look at the place where he lived. 151 00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:14,825 We kind of figured there may be some apparently meaningless things around 152 00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:18,631 that might have some sentimental attachments for us. 153 00:12:18,704 --> 00:12:21,935 Photographs, mail. You know that kind of thing, Mr... 154 00:12:22,007 --> 00:12:25,135 Lovejoy. No, Mr., just Lovejoy. I doubt it. 155 00:12:25,211 --> 00:12:27,304 I think he left everything to his housekeepers. 156 00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:30,712 Too bad. Still, you don't mind if we take a look around? 157 00:12:30,783 --> 00:12:33,980 By all means, just slam the door when you leave. 158 00:12:34,053 --> 00:12:35,714 OK. 159 00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:39,819 Thanks... Lovejoy. 160 00:12:39,892 --> 00:12:44,124 You're like putty you are, Lovejoy, when you see a nice bit of skirt. 161 00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:48,324 Nice bit of skirt? 162 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:52,632 That adorable creature is the kind of woman men would die for. 163 00:12:54,373 --> 00:13:00,334 Can't you adolescent, headbanging polytechnic dropouts think of a woman you'd wanna die for? 164 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:03,573 Cyndi Lauper. Maybe. 165 00:13:11,257 --> 00:13:13,555 - Good morning, Helen. - Hello, darling. 166 00:13:15,694 --> 00:13:17,719 A little early in the day, eh, Tinker? 167 00:13:19,598 --> 00:13:22,066 I like a little early in the day. 168 00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:24,534 I like a lot more later in the day. 169 00:13:24,603 --> 00:13:27,094 Secret of your charm, Tink. Anything new? 170 00:13:27,173 --> 00:13:29,004 Apart from the pink shirt with the cigar? 171 00:13:29,074 --> 00:13:32,237 Spot of porcelain on the move. Pinned it for you. 172 00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:34,074 Thanks, you'll have to wait for the cash. 173 00:13:34,146 --> 00:13:38,549 Part of the charm of being you barker, Lovejoy, is waiting for the cash. 174 00:13:38,617 --> 00:13:39,777 Thank you. 175 00:13:39,852 --> 00:13:43,788 Listen, a fellow called Bexon died recently. 176 00:13:43,856 --> 00:13:46,416 Do you know where all the stuff went? 177 00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:49,859 Yes, some coins went into auction and some odds and sods. 178 00:13:49,929 --> 00:13:54,525 I rather think that Gimbert and Dandy Jack snatched most of it before it got to auction. 179 00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:57,501 Nailed it down before the deceased was cold in his box. 180 00:13:57,570 --> 00:13:59,970 Typical Gimbert, not like Dandy Jack. 181 00:14:00,039 --> 00:14:05,341 We're dealers, laddie, and as such are capable of despicable deceits. 182 00:14:05,411 --> 00:14:08,608 Of course we are. What was I thinking of? 183 00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:11,878 Besides, I can hardly imagine Bexon's place 184 00:14:11,951 --> 00:14:15,717 yielding a cornucopia of antiquities, 185 00:14:15,788 --> 00:14:18,416 manky little house off the Norwich Road. 186 00:14:18,490 --> 00:14:20,924 Yielded this, done by the man himself. 187 00:14:20,993 --> 00:14:24,588 What's that your holding close to your chest, Lovejoy? Let Helen have a peep. 188 00:14:24,663 --> 00:14:28,224 Now, not everyone gets a chance to peek at my chest, darling. 189 00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:31,133 I live in hope, sweetie, I live in hope. 190 00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:33,433 She lives in hope. 191 00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:37,835 It's rather lovely. 192 00:14:38,677 --> 00:14:41,077 Show's over. That's all you get. 193 00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:48,281 (Whispers) It's a fake. 194 00:14:48,354 --> 00:14:51,585 (Whispers) Yes, but close to being brilliant. 195 00:14:51,657 --> 00:14:54,990 That's why I wanna scan the rest of the stuff. 196 00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:58,757 - Find Dandy Jack. - Chop the deal with me. 197 00:14:58,831 --> 00:15:00,890 How could you even ask that? 198 00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:03,695 (Coughs) 199 00:15:19,151 --> 00:15:22,518 Will you row me over the Bosphorous to the palace of the Sultan? 200 00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:24,180 Lovejoy? 201 00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:27,384 - Hello, Janey. - Oh, you look awful. 202 00:15:27,459 --> 00:15:29,620 I had a rude awakening this morning. 203 00:15:33,132 --> 00:15:34,963 Better after a shave. 204 00:15:35,734 --> 00:15:37,395 - Where's the husband? - Oh... 205 00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:41,436 Bangkok or New Zealand, somewhere like that. 206 00:15:41,507 --> 00:15:44,965 Oh, why don't we repair to the manor house and regale ourselves with dry sherry? 207 00:15:47,212 --> 00:15:51,478 You'll never make the upper classes, Lovejoy, you're too much of a snob. 208 00:16:22,047 --> 00:16:24,572 - This your latest job? - Mm-hm. 209 00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:27,847 Former railway station near Saxmundham. 210 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,854 - I'm designing the sitting room. - Oh. 211 00:16:29,922 --> 00:16:31,617 Used to be the ticket office. 212 00:16:33,225 --> 00:16:36,251 Bet they're from Belgravia. More money than sense, hm? 213 00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:38,762 - I'm happy to say. - (Chuckles) 214 00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:43,191 Well, tell me about this painting. 215 00:16:43,268 --> 00:16:46,203 (Lovejoy) Aha. 216 00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:51,336 - It would fool most dealers. - Aha, but why didn't it fool you? 217 00:16:53,812 --> 00:16:55,746 The dress. 218 00:16:55,814 --> 00:16:57,839 - Mm? - The color of the dress. 219 00:17:00,819 --> 00:17:03,583 It's lemon yellow, modern color. 220 00:17:03,655 --> 00:17:06,681 About 1809, now Bexon the forger, he must know that. 221 00:17:06,759 --> 00:17:10,160 An expert like that doesn't get an entire color wrong. 222 00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:15,227 He creates a superb bloody forgery then he betrays it, why? 223 00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:18,400 Indeed, why? 224 00:17:18,470 --> 00:17:21,268 I don't know, there might be a reason. 225 00:17:21,340 --> 00:17:25,538 Then again it might be a wonderful, elegant joke. 226 00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:30,243 I've never seen Lovejoy so excited as when he saw that picture. 227 00:17:30,315 --> 00:17:35,651 Almost fervent, he was. Usually he's such a cynical old so and so. 228 00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:40,715 Ah, but not about antiques. Not genuine antiques. 229 00:17:41,093 --> 00:17:46,963 You see, to Lovejoy and I, antiques are a way of life. 230 00:17:47,032 --> 00:17:49,364 Especially to Lovejoy, he's a divvy, you know. 231 00:17:49,435 --> 00:17:50,925 A what, divvy? 232 00:17:51,003 --> 00:17:55,201 A divvy is anyone who knows the right of a thing, 233 00:17:55,274 --> 00:17:57,071 without knowing why. 234 00:17:57,142 --> 00:18:01,909 It's an instinct, a feeling, it springs from "divining", as in water. 235 00:18:03,315 --> 00:18:05,044 I think I'm a divvy. 236 00:18:05,117 --> 00:18:08,052 Cos I can hear a record - a new one, like - 237 00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:10,953 and I can usually predict if it's gonna be a hit. 238 00:18:11,023 --> 00:18:13,218 (Door opens) 239 00:18:16,161 --> 00:18:19,858 - The Bexon inheritance. - Dandy Jack loaned it you? 240 00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,797 He charged me a tenner for it. 241 00:18:21,867 --> 00:18:24,301 A tenner too much. 242 00:18:24,369 --> 00:18:28,430 These appear to be diaries. Nothing titillating, I'm afraid. 243 00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:30,666 This is it? 244 00:18:30,742 --> 00:18:32,539 There's a couple of caricatures, 245 00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:35,273 I told him you'd be around there tomorrow to look at 'em. 246 00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:40,009 Rubbish. 247 00:18:40,085 --> 00:18:42,645 Tinker's in no great hurry for his tenner. 248 00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:19,419 (Bells chime) 249 00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:38,206 Lovejoy. Adore the suit. 250 00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:40,871 It's part of that undertaker's job lot I bought off you. 251 00:19:40,946 --> 00:19:43,107 I expect that style's all the rage again in Covent Garden, 252 00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:46,879 one gets so out of touch in our quiet little rural corner. 253 00:19:46,952 --> 00:19:50,353 What's, um... What's going on? 254 00:19:50,422 --> 00:19:52,117 Strangers in the night. 255 00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:54,284 Yobbos pinched some gold coins. 256 00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:57,260 Probably feeding them into slot machines as we speak. 257 00:19:57,329 --> 00:20:00,594 I wanna see those caricatures you kept. Tomorrow, OK? 258 00:20:00,666 --> 00:20:02,793 All right, petal. Bye for now. 259 00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:04,495 Yeah. 260 00:20:23,088 --> 00:20:24,715 Christ, what's with the suit? 261 00:20:24,790 --> 00:20:26,189 Are you in court? 262 00:20:26,258 --> 00:20:29,056 I suppose the jaundiced eye of the law sees the worst in everyone. 263 00:20:29,127 --> 00:20:32,528 - Goes with the job, boy. - What happened? 264 00:20:32,598 --> 00:20:33,997 What's it to you? 265 00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:37,558 If I know what's been stolen, I can recognize it. 266 00:20:37,636 --> 00:20:41,163 When I'm offered it at a third of the value by some shifty tea leaf. 267 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,174 Then I can report it to you. 268 00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:46,006 Snap it up and flog it in far off parts, more like. 269 00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:47,670 How can you think such a thing? 270 00:20:47,746 --> 00:20:51,682 It's one of the many reasons why you're in our police computer, Lovejoy. 271 00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:53,377 Vandals! 272 00:20:57,623 --> 00:21:01,354 - What coins did they get, darling? - Two gold Aureus. 273 00:21:08,900 --> 00:21:13,735 "Donated by J. R. Bexon. 274 00:21:13,805 --> 00:21:16,330 "Roman province of Isle of Man." 275 00:21:22,147 --> 00:21:24,615 (Cheering) 276 00:21:48,774 --> 00:21:51,538 I was a useless runner at school. 277 00:21:51,610 --> 00:21:56,274 Mind you, it does require tenacity, stamina, courage and character. 278 00:21:56,348 --> 00:21:58,839 All those qualities which you so sadly lack. 279 00:21:58,917 --> 00:22:01,112 - Did your mother tell you that? - Probably. 280 00:22:01,186 --> 00:22:03,620 - How is she? - She's OK. 281 00:22:03,689 --> 00:22:06,817 She's over the guitar lessons, she's into ceramics now. 282 00:22:06,892 --> 00:22:09,861 What about your stepfather, what's his name? 283 00:22:09,928 --> 00:22:11,225 He's making a mint. 284 00:22:11,296 --> 00:22:13,560 What about you? Still terribly broke? 285 00:22:13,632 --> 00:22:16,328 What are you talking about? I pay these school fees, don't I? 286 00:22:16,401 --> 00:22:18,096 And your skiing trip to Zermatt. 287 00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:24,575 I do admit I have the occasional fiscal crisis but I'm doing fine, Kate, really am. 288 00:22:24,643 --> 00:22:27,111 Mummy says you don't have a pot to piss in. 289 00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:29,909 I had a superb pot. 290 00:22:29,981 --> 00:22:32,745 Porcelain Ting bowl, Hubei province, circa 1050. 291 00:22:32,818 --> 00:22:34,786 But your mum got that. 292 00:22:34,853 --> 00:22:37,378 Can we, uh... sit down? 293 00:22:37,456 --> 00:22:39,890 - I got tired watching you. - (Tannoy announcement) 294 00:22:39,958 --> 00:22:42,051 Hang on, I want to hear the result. 295 00:22:42,127 --> 00:22:43,424 You won. 296 00:22:43,495 --> 00:22:46,089 It's a team event, if you know what that means. 297 00:22:46,164 --> 00:22:49,600 ...this year's overall winner, with 137 points. 298 00:22:49,668 --> 00:22:53,832 Second, Gainsborough, with 128 points. 299 00:22:53,905 --> 00:22:56,965 And Hilliard third, with 110 points. 300 00:22:57,042 --> 00:22:58,566 Thank you. 301 00:22:58,643 --> 00:23:00,474 (Applause) 302 00:23:04,282 --> 00:23:08,719 Well, Kate. You still interested in the Romans? 303 00:23:08,787 --> 00:23:10,982 I like Italian waiters. 304 00:23:11,056 --> 00:23:13,490 Seriously, it was always your pet subject. 305 00:23:13,558 --> 00:23:16,459 - So? - So, um... 306 00:23:16,528 --> 00:23:18,291 Did they ever colonize the Isle of Man? 307 00:23:18,363 --> 00:23:20,923 I'm speaking of Claudius' time, Suetonius. 308 00:23:20,999 --> 00:23:23,661 Suetonius was governor general in Nero's reign. 309 00:23:23,735 --> 00:23:27,398 He spent most of his time chasing druids in Anglesey while all the aggro went on... 310 00:23:27,472 --> 00:23:28,496 - What aggro? 311 00:23:28,573 --> 00:23:31,371 - You know, Boadicea and the Iceni. - No, I don't know. 312 00:23:32,844 --> 00:23:35,608 Boadicea whipped together all these savage dykes. 313 00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:37,147 (Whispers) Kate. 314 00:23:37,215 --> 00:23:38,978 Savage warriors, then. 315 00:23:39,050 --> 00:23:42,508 Anyhow, they went on the rampage and blew the ninth legion away. 316 00:23:42,587 --> 00:23:45,681 She crucified 70,000 people and really went over the top 317 00:23:45,757 --> 00:23:48,191 till old Suetonius turned up a few months later. 318 00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:49,420 From Anglesey? 319 00:23:49,494 --> 00:23:51,962 Mm. I need another drink. 320 00:23:52,030 --> 00:23:54,760 Suetonius was a long time getting back, wasn't he? 321 00:23:56,435 --> 00:23:58,630 It wasn't as if we were ripping off his widow. 322 00:23:58,703 --> 00:24:02,935 He left all to a housekeeper who took off soon after he died. 323 00:24:03,008 --> 00:24:06,034 Just saving the old dear the bother, weren't we? 324 00:24:06,111 --> 00:24:08,443 Oh, and you have a heart of gold, love! 325 00:24:08,513 --> 00:24:11,971 And Gimbert snatched up the Carolian yellow lady. 326 00:24:12,050 --> 00:24:16,248 - I could have wept. - (Tuts) I know how you must have felt. 327 00:24:16,321 --> 00:24:18,448 - It was gorgeous. - It was a fake. 328 00:24:18,523 --> 00:24:19,785 Really? 329 00:24:19,858 --> 00:24:21,826 Oh, splendid, I am pleased. 330 00:24:23,695 --> 00:24:25,890 - As I suspect these are. - Nonsense. 331 00:24:25,964 --> 00:24:28,524 Genuine Victorian caricatures. 332 00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:31,763 Burn Jones. Almost certainly. 333 00:24:32,337 --> 00:24:34,567 Almost certainly, Burn Jones' style 334 00:24:34,639 --> 00:24:37,301 but done by the remarkable Mr. Bexon. 335 00:24:37,375 --> 00:24:41,311 Balls, Lovejoy, I've already had a sweet offer for this. 336 00:24:41,379 --> 00:24:45,076 - Two Americans. - Was one blonde and beautiful? 337 00:24:45,150 --> 00:24:47,084 He wasn't exactly gross. 338 00:24:48,086 --> 00:24:49,383 Why didn't you sell them? 339 00:24:49,454 --> 00:24:51,854 Old Lord Rycroft likes this sort of thing. 340 00:24:51,923 --> 00:24:53,515 He might just up the ante. 341 00:24:53,592 --> 00:24:55,924 Oh, Dandy, do me a favor. Well, two actually. 342 00:24:55,994 --> 00:25:00,863 Let me photocopy those, and stall our American cousins for a couple of days. 343 00:25:00,932 --> 00:25:02,797 Why on earth should I? 344 00:25:02,868 --> 00:25:05,928 Because they're not Burn Jones, dear heart. 345 00:25:07,005 --> 00:25:11,169 But only you and I know that. For the moment. 346 00:25:20,252 --> 00:25:23,449 Just the man I wanted to see. 347 00:25:24,523 --> 00:25:27,287 Oh. You still in the area then? 348 00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:30,192 Sure am, been trying to acquire some of my uncle's effects. 349 00:25:30,262 --> 00:25:31,957 - Yeah, I heard. - Oh? 350 00:25:32,030 --> 00:25:33,964 Dandy Jack said you've made him an offer. 351 00:25:34,032 --> 00:25:37,661 Ah, the drawings, yeah. I thought they were quite attractive. 352 00:25:37,736 --> 00:25:38,828 (Tinker laughs) 353 00:25:38,904 --> 00:25:41,270 Looks like I might have to raise the bidding, though. 354 00:25:41,339 --> 00:25:45,275 Ah, this other dealer. Dandy Jack? 355 00:25:45,343 --> 00:25:49,939 He said you'd bought a chest of my uncle's belongings from him. 356 00:25:50,015 --> 00:25:53,712 - Just junk, I'm afraid. - I'd like to be the judge of that. 357 00:25:53,785 --> 00:25:55,844 I'm a pretty good judge of junk. 358 00:25:55,921 --> 00:25:56,979 (Laughs) 359 00:25:57,055 --> 00:26:01,651 Said you paid ten pounds for it. I'd like to buy the stuff. 360 00:26:01,726 --> 00:26:03,318 For nostalgic reasons. 361 00:26:05,297 --> 00:26:06,924 Give you twenty. 362 00:26:06,998 --> 00:26:11,196 Clearly nostalgia ain't what it used to be. 363 00:26:11,269 --> 00:26:13,362 (Laughs) 364 00:26:13,538 --> 00:26:16,439 "I decided to leave them all in the urn. 365 00:26:16,508 --> 00:26:21,172 "I can't face the publicity yet, all these TV people doing their interviews, 366 00:26:21,246 --> 00:26:23,009 "they're such barbarians. 367 00:26:23,081 --> 00:26:25,208 "I need to do more research." 368 00:26:27,252 --> 00:26:30,744 Why would he write a diary, then copy it out, word for word? 369 00:26:30,822 --> 00:26:32,722 Almost like forging his own work. 370 00:26:32,791 --> 00:26:36,454 They're clues. He'd do that, he'd leave clues. 371 00:26:36,528 --> 00:26:37,859 What do you mean? You never knew the man. 372 00:26:37,929 --> 00:26:41,763 I know the nature of the man, he'd leave riddles, he'd leave clues. 373 00:26:41,833 --> 00:26:45,064 They're in those diaries, somewhere. 374 00:26:47,906 --> 00:26:49,635 - Is this a clue? - Mm? 375 00:26:50,208 --> 00:26:51,766 Show me that. 376 00:26:56,147 --> 00:26:59,082 It's a work sketch of Dandy Jack's drawing. 377 00:27:00,485 --> 00:27:03,147 Janey, we're on to something. 378 00:27:03,989 --> 00:27:05,923 I can smell it. Read on. 379 00:27:07,792 --> 00:27:11,091 Does feel awful somehow, reading people's private diaries. 380 00:27:11,162 --> 00:27:14,791 No, Bexon wanted you to, he wanted them to be read, 381 00:27:14,866 --> 00:27:18,358 especially by somebody who is as curious and alert 382 00:27:18,436 --> 00:27:21,030 and as completely broke as I am. 383 00:27:31,282 --> 00:27:32,909 (Lovejoy) Good night, love. 384 00:27:56,207 --> 00:27:58,175 (Phone) 385 00:28:08,987 --> 00:28:10,284 Hello, who is it? 386 00:28:10,355 --> 00:28:12,516 (Lovejoy) I wanted to speak to your maniac brother. 387 00:28:12,590 --> 00:28:14,387 - Why? - Why?! 388 00:28:14,459 --> 00:28:18,657 Because he's wrecked my home, that's why. Would have had his bloody rent tomorrow. 389 00:28:18,730 --> 00:28:21,062 If you'd just shut your face a minute, 390 00:28:21,132 --> 00:28:23,327 I'm telling you, Charlie's not here. 391 00:28:23,401 --> 00:28:25,494 I see. 392 00:28:25,570 --> 00:28:27,162 Oh, I'm sorry, Mandy. 393 00:28:50,228 --> 00:28:53,095 Still looking for family mementos, eh? 394 00:28:53,164 --> 00:28:57,066 When a guy doesn't play fair you have to take steps. 395 00:28:57,135 --> 00:29:00,127 Like breaking and entering here and at the museum. 396 00:29:00,205 --> 00:29:02,969 Careful what you say, Lovejoy. 397 00:29:03,041 --> 00:29:05,339 I wonder what the law would say about this. 398 00:29:05,410 --> 00:29:09,710 There's nothing illegal about what an antique dealer does in the privacy of his own home. 399 00:29:09,781 --> 00:29:11,339 Of course not. 400 00:29:12,417 --> 00:29:16,012 What were you gonna sign this? Richard Wilson? 401 00:29:16,087 --> 00:29:19,215 - I think I'll have you arrested. - The hell you will. 402 00:29:19,290 --> 00:29:21,520 Don't act the wise-ass with me. I'm warning you. 403 00:29:21,593 --> 00:29:23,652 You could just be stepping out of your league. 404 00:29:23,728 --> 00:29:25,457 You just stepped out of character. 405 00:29:25,530 --> 00:29:28,556 Me and Nicole, we don't figure that box of trash you sold me 406 00:29:28,633 --> 00:29:30,726 was all you had of our uncle's stuff. 407 00:29:30,802 --> 00:29:33,669 I don't like being threatened, Edward. 408 00:29:33,738 --> 00:29:38,801 And I suggest you get the hell out of here unless you want an ear lopped off. 409 00:29:38,877 --> 00:29:42,938 And kindly put that old master back where you found it. 410 00:30:14,179 --> 00:30:17,342 - (Lovejoy) Morning, Charlie. - Hang on. 411 00:30:17,415 --> 00:30:19,849 Nineteen. 412 00:30:19,918 --> 00:30:22,352 I've got one more to go. 413 00:30:22,887 --> 00:30:24,616 I do this every day. 414 00:30:25,690 --> 00:30:28,853 Why don't you put a pool in the cottage? Then you can raise my rent. 415 00:30:28,927 --> 00:30:32,863 Then you'd owe me even more every bloody month. 416 00:30:33,932 --> 00:30:36,992 - I brought your painting back. - Oh. 417 00:30:37,068 --> 00:30:39,866 You've been telling everyone it's a forgery. 418 00:30:39,938 --> 00:30:43,237 - It is. - I've already had an offer. 419 00:30:43,308 --> 00:30:45,071 Sight unseen. 420 00:30:45,143 --> 00:30:48,704 - From our visiting American friends. - That's right. 421 00:30:48,780 --> 00:30:51,146 Bexon's family. 422 00:30:51,216 --> 00:30:55,482 They're trying to collect his stuff for sentimental reasons. 423 00:30:56,554 --> 00:30:58,954 Thanks. 424 00:30:59,023 --> 00:31:02,959 I'd knock the price down for that Nicole, I'll tell you that. 425 00:31:03,027 --> 00:31:05,086 What a darling. 426 00:31:05,163 --> 00:31:07,597 What was Bexon's story? Did you know him? 427 00:31:07,665 --> 00:31:10,031 No, not really. 428 00:31:10,101 --> 00:31:12,899 Sold him the house a couple of years ago. 429 00:31:12,971 --> 00:31:17,067 Retired engineer, I think. Died unexpectedly. 430 00:31:17,141 --> 00:31:21,805 Left the place to Betty Springer, his housekeeper. 431 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:24,872 - Do you know her present address? - Of course I do. 432 00:31:24,949 --> 00:31:27,110 I'm handling the sale, aren't I? 433 00:31:28,119 --> 00:31:30,781 - Well? - Huh? 434 00:31:30,855 --> 00:31:33,221 Oh, she went back to the Isle of Man. 435 00:31:33,291 --> 00:31:35,452 (Splash in the pool) 436 00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:43,999 Amanda! 437 00:31:44,068 --> 00:31:47,333 I've told you before about swimming naked when there are people here. 438 00:31:47,405 --> 00:31:50,272 Knock it off, Charlie. Lovejoy's seen me before. 439 00:32:06,724 --> 00:32:07,850 (Nicole) Lovejoy? 440 00:32:09,761 --> 00:32:11,786 Lovejoy? 441 00:32:12,730 --> 00:32:14,391 - Hi! - Hello. 442 00:32:15,166 --> 00:32:18,067 I just wanted to apologize for my brother's behavior. 443 00:32:18,136 --> 00:32:20,661 Yeah, he seems to think I kept some things of yours. 444 00:32:20,738 --> 00:32:22,831 I can't imagine what would be worth keeping. 445 00:32:22,907 --> 00:32:25,876 - But Eddie's real uptight. - So am I. 446 00:32:25,944 --> 00:32:30,813 Mind you, it might have been different if you'd been creeping around my bedroom last night. 447 00:32:31,983 --> 00:32:34,884 I guess that would have been more fun, too. 448 00:32:34,953 --> 00:32:36,818 Why don't I buy you lunch? 449 00:33:04,315 --> 00:33:06,283 Antiques are everything. 450 00:33:06,351 --> 00:33:08,683 Nothing else exists. 451 00:33:08,753 --> 00:33:11,449 When you hold an antique, 452 00:33:11,522 --> 00:33:14,320 you reach back through centuries. 453 00:33:17,328 --> 00:33:19,421 You touch the hand of genius. 454 00:33:19,497 --> 00:33:22,295 - Do you understand what I'm saying? - Mm. 455 00:33:22,367 --> 00:33:26,997 When you hold an antique, you love it. Because the love that made it shines through. 456 00:33:27,071 --> 00:33:29,767 Right. That's why I'm a dealer. 457 00:33:33,011 --> 00:33:36,777 I suppose that's why you and Edward are dealers, too. 458 00:33:36,848 --> 00:33:39,180 - Is that what you think? - Mm. 459 00:33:39,751 --> 00:33:42,618 I think you're a couple of normal, healthy collectors, 460 00:33:42,687 --> 00:33:45,713 ferreting around the English countryside in search of coins. 461 00:33:45,790 --> 00:33:49,123 Well, you do seem to posses some sort of higher knowledge, Lovejoy. 462 00:33:49,193 --> 00:33:52,162 Let's suppose you found a couple of Roman coins 463 00:33:52,230 --> 00:33:55,427 and then you saw the pair that Bexon gave to the local museum 464 00:33:55,500 --> 00:33:59,129 and thought they were from the same batch, 465 00:33:59,203 --> 00:34:04,436 and being a naturally healthy pair of collectors, you liberated them. 466 00:34:04,509 --> 00:34:06,033 How am I doing so far? 467 00:34:06,110 --> 00:34:08,203 (Chuckles) Best movie I've seen in months. 468 00:34:08,279 --> 00:34:09,769 And being coin dealers, 469 00:34:09,847 --> 00:34:11,974 there's naturally more where they came from 470 00:34:12,050 --> 00:34:17,511 and somewhere in Uncle Jimmy's things, there might be pointers to their whereabouts. 471 00:34:18,556 --> 00:34:21,024 - Spot of port? - No, thanks. 472 00:34:24,495 --> 00:34:27,328 If any of this were true, where would that leave you? 473 00:34:27,398 --> 00:34:28,797 In the hunt. 474 00:34:30,068 --> 00:34:32,332 But not necessarily in the lead. 475 00:34:33,171 --> 00:34:35,332 I think my nose is just in front. 476 00:34:35,406 --> 00:34:38,307 Well then you should pick up the lunch tab, don't you think? 477 00:34:38,376 --> 00:34:40,071 Certainly. 478 00:34:50,154 --> 00:34:51,781 Shit! 479 00:34:54,592 --> 00:34:58,119 Ah! Quiche, trout, wine, port. 480 00:34:58,196 --> 00:35:00,027 How nice. 481 00:35:01,632 --> 00:35:04,692 I suppose you're hand in glove with her and her brother now? 482 00:35:05,770 --> 00:35:09,604 - I might reappraise my position. - I'd talk to Dandy Jack first. 483 00:35:09,674 --> 00:35:12,666 He's in the hospital. Someone tried to kill him. 484 00:35:12,743 --> 00:35:14,711 What? 485 00:35:17,949 --> 00:35:19,576 (Radio jingle) 486 00:35:19,650 --> 00:35:23,245 (Man on radio) The time is eight o'clock, you're in tune with Radio 223. 487 00:35:23,321 --> 00:35:26,051 This is your tribute hour in the Breakfast Show. 488 00:35:26,124 --> 00:35:29,821 For starters this morning, Night For Day by Jimmy Nail... 489 00:35:29,894 --> 00:35:32,522 Lovejoy? 490 00:35:32,597 --> 00:35:34,428 How's Dandy Jack? Did you see him last night? 491 00:35:34,499 --> 00:35:37,127 He'll live, he's more upset because his sketches were ripped off. 492 00:35:37,201 --> 00:35:41,228 He lost the deal with Lord Rycroft. Did you bring the cash? 493 00:35:41,305 --> 00:35:45,799 Yeah, but my dad wants evidence of a pronounced improvement in my endeavors. 494 00:35:45,877 --> 00:35:48,937 He will have it, Eric. There's a book here. 495 00:35:49,013 --> 00:35:51,675 Biographical memoirs of extraordinary painters. 496 00:35:52,483 --> 00:35:54,280 You read it before I get back. 497 00:35:54,352 --> 00:35:56,081 Hang on, get back from where? 498 00:35:56,154 --> 00:35:59,282 I'm going up north. Auction. 499 00:35:59,357 --> 00:36:03,817 - That cash is for your rent, Lovejoy. - I know it is. 500 00:36:03,895 --> 00:36:07,763 Here, are you up to something? I want in if you are. 501 00:36:07,832 --> 00:36:10,062 Fair's fair. 502 00:36:10,134 --> 00:36:12,193 Drink your coffee, Eric. 503 00:36:17,175 --> 00:36:19,268 Readies, Brian. 504 00:36:21,345 --> 00:36:25,008 (Laughs) Wonders will never cease. 505 00:36:25,082 --> 00:36:27,880 - May I have an invoice? - My pleasure, boy. 506 00:37:08,292 --> 00:37:11,125 - Mr. Lovejoy? - Mrs. Springer. 507 00:37:11,195 --> 00:37:14,289 - Yes, how do you do? - I was just admiring the view. 508 00:37:14,365 --> 00:37:16,265 Please come in. 509 00:37:17,335 --> 00:37:21,169 That's why Mr. Bexon was always so reluctant to leave. 510 00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:22,706 I can't say I blame him. 511 00:37:24,709 --> 00:37:27,701 It quite shook me, your phone call, Mr. Lovejoy. 512 00:37:28,779 --> 00:37:32,840 It's been years since anybody mentioned all that Roman stuff. 513 00:37:32,917 --> 00:37:35,181 Mr. Bexon wrote it all up in a paper 514 00:37:35,253 --> 00:37:38,518 and sent it to professors at Oxford and Cambridge. 515 00:37:38,589 --> 00:37:40,648 They just laughed at him. 516 00:37:40,725 --> 00:37:44,559 He was a very shy person and that wounded him deeply. 517 00:37:44,629 --> 00:37:48,087 So after that, he decided to keep it all to himself. 518 00:37:48,165 --> 00:37:50,030 What did he tell them? 519 00:37:50,101 --> 00:37:54,333 Mr. Bexon's theory was that, while Boadicea was on the rampage, 520 00:37:54,405 --> 00:37:58,774 the Roman governor Suetonius had a kind of honeymoon here 521 00:37:58,843 --> 00:38:00,140 with a favorite mistress. 522 00:38:00,211 --> 00:38:03,374 While he was supposed to be in Anglesey having a hard time with the Druids? 523 00:38:03,447 --> 00:38:05,074 Politics never change. 524 00:38:05,149 --> 00:38:09,313 He said he'd found evidence of a small Roman presence. 525 00:38:09,387 --> 00:38:11,218 The two coins he gave to the museum? 526 00:38:11,289 --> 00:38:13,985 Yes, but he found a grave of some kind as well, 527 00:38:14,058 --> 00:38:17,118 this was before I became his housekeeper. 528 00:38:17,194 --> 00:38:23,258 There was an urn with ashes and coins and an inscription with the name Ysbal. 529 00:38:23,334 --> 00:38:27,134 It was Mr. Bexon's theory that they'd been walking along the cliffs 530 00:38:27,204 --> 00:38:29,229 and she fell and was killed. 531 00:38:30,875 --> 00:38:33,901 And Suetonius buried her here and then went back to the mainland 532 00:38:33,978 --> 00:38:35,946 to take it out on Boadicea. 533 00:38:36,013 --> 00:38:39,039 I can imagine what the professors thought of that. 534 00:38:39,116 --> 00:38:42,210 Yes, they said he'd made it all up. 535 00:38:45,589 --> 00:38:49,252 Well, he was a bit of a faker. Not to say a joker. 536 00:38:49,327 --> 00:38:51,454 Never malicious though. 537 00:39:13,117 --> 00:39:16,416 Oh, it's become so wild and overgrown. 538 00:39:20,524 --> 00:39:25,086 When I was a little girl, this was like a train to fairyland. 539 00:39:25,162 --> 00:39:29,326 Down there were pens with sea lions and polar bears. 540 00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:31,868 It all lit up at night. 541 00:39:31,936 --> 00:39:34,166 What's that? 542 00:39:34,238 --> 00:39:36,968 Oh, that was a cage they built for the keepers. 543 00:39:38,309 --> 00:39:39,799 Oh, to feed the bears. 544 00:39:45,216 --> 00:39:47,047 I'll make some tea, Mr. Lovejoy. 545 00:39:56,761 --> 00:39:58,524 Thank you. 546 00:39:58,596 --> 00:40:00,587 (Laughter) 547 00:40:06,737 --> 00:40:09,137 - Can I help you? - Mrs. Springer. 548 00:40:09,206 --> 00:40:11,436 How nice to meet you. 549 00:40:11,509 --> 00:40:13,477 Hello, Lovejoy. 550 00:40:13,544 --> 00:40:16,206 Why don't you go and get some fish and chips, Lovejoy? 551 00:40:18,783 --> 00:40:22,412 If you find treasure or archaeological stuff, 552 00:40:22,486 --> 00:40:24,454 you're surely not allowed to keep it. 553 00:40:24,522 --> 00:40:26,649 No, you can't keep the actual stuff. 554 00:40:26,724 --> 00:40:30,785 The coroner fixes a price with the assessor and the finder gets the value. 555 00:40:30,861 --> 00:40:33,625 You know, Lovejoy, that this treasure, if there is such a thing, 556 00:40:33,697 --> 00:40:35,062 wasn't ever intended for you. 557 00:40:35,132 --> 00:40:37,794 It certainly wasn't intended for Edward or the lovely Nicole. 558 00:40:37,868 --> 00:40:41,031 Mrs. Springer said Bexon never mentioned a family in the States. 559 00:40:41,105 --> 00:40:43,198 It must have been them who got Dandy Jack. 560 00:40:43,274 --> 00:40:45,242 Edward, Nicole was with me. 561 00:40:45,309 --> 00:40:49,439 Oh yes, the little lunch a deux in the wine bar. 562 00:40:49,513 --> 00:40:51,310 Oh, please she means nothing. 563 00:40:51,382 --> 00:40:54,579 That's not true, you said she was adorable and you'd die for her. 564 00:40:54,652 --> 00:40:57,587 Any other tasty titbits you'd like to impart, motor mouth. 565 00:40:57,655 --> 00:41:00,283 Yeah, Charlie Gimbert's seen a solicitor about your rent, 566 00:41:00,357 --> 00:41:03,190 and Brian's reported you to the police for car theft. 567 00:41:03,260 --> 00:41:04,921 Don't you want the haddock? 568 00:41:12,736 --> 00:41:16,172 Be a three-way split now, eh? Fair's fair. 569 00:41:17,875 --> 00:41:20,469 I suppose that's why you did a runner on us. 570 00:41:20,544 --> 00:41:22,341 No, I didn't. 571 00:41:22,413 --> 00:41:24,745 I just didn't want you two sharing my problems. 572 00:41:24,815 --> 00:41:27,750 Lovejoy! Can you spare a moment? 573 00:41:30,488 --> 00:41:33,116 Yes, m'lady. 574 00:41:33,190 --> 00:41:38,025 The general plan, I take, it is to traipse round all the landmarks in Bexon's dreary diary 575 00:41:38,095 --> 00:41:40,063 and hope something pops up. 576 00:41:41,131 --> 00:41:42,928 Do we have a choice? 577 00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:48,632 I would have thought that the sketch of the Lady Isabella was a much more significant clue. 578 00:41:48,706 --> 00:41:51,140 Well, it probably is if we knew where the hell it was. 579 00:42:01,285 --> 00:42:03,412 It's a local landmark. 580 00:42:03,487 --> 00:42:05,887 And it's been staring you in the face for two days. 581 00:42:25,776 --> 00:42:29,940 There's no way anyone could hide anything in or around that wheel. 582 00:42:30,014 --> 00:42:34,212 Besides, most of the year it must be crawling with tourists. 583 00:42:34,885 --> 00:42:38,651 I wonder how long before Edward and your adorable Nicole turn up? 584 00:42:39,390 --> 00:42:41,654 I was thinking the very same thing. 585 00:42:41,725 --> 00:42:44,250 Well, how? They didn't get the diaries. 586 00:42:44,328 --> 00:42:47,695 No, but if they did get the original sketches, 587 00:42:47,765 --> 00:42:50,962 it won't take them long to find out what Lady Isabella is. 588 00:42:51,735 --> 00:42:53,464 We could be here for ages. 589 00:43:09,687 --> 00:43:13,919 (Radio) It's five to seven and this is BBC Radio Four. Good morning... 590 00:43:18,462 --> 00:43:21,022 You're up with the lark, Mr. Lovejoy. 591 00:43:22,066 --> 00:43:24,296 Oh, or didn't you sleep? 592 00:43:24,368 --> 00:43:27,860 I'm really terribly sorry about the lack of heat, it must be the boiler. 593 00:43:27,938 --> 00:43:30,236 That's all right, Mrs. Springer. 594 00:43:31,609 --> 00:43:34,237 Mr. Bexon was always up at this hour. 595 00:43:34,311 --> 00:43:37,178 And he wouldn't have his breakfast until he'd had his walk. 596 00:43:37,247 --> 00:43:39,477 Not even a hot drink. 597 00:43:39,550 --> 00:43:42,519 Did he visit the seal pens a lot? 598 00:43:42,586 --> 00:43:44,486 It was his favorite walk. 599 00:44:54,725 --> 00:44:56,852 (Edward) Lovejoy! 600 00:44:56,927 --> 00:45:00,124 Hey, Lovejoy! How you making out? 601 00:45:00,197 --> 00:45:02,529 Have you found it yet? 602 00:45:04,201 --> 00:45:08,103 - You'd better start guessing right! - What do you mean? 603 00:45:08,772 --> 00:45:10,706 Guessing where it is. 604 00:45:12,076 --> 00:45:14,601 Take your time. 605 00:45:14,678 --> 00:45:16,270 I can wait. 606 00:45:16,880 --> 00:45:20,839 When you guess right, I'll come over and haul you up. 607 00:45:20,918 --> 00:45:23,716 - And if I don't? - You will. 608 00:45:25,255 --> 00:45:27,587 You can have as many guesses as you like. 609 00:45:27,658 --> 00:45:30,491 I'm not afraid of you, Edward. 610 00:45:32,062 --> 00:45:33,859 Help! 611 00:45:33,931 --> 00:45:35,796 Lovejoy? 612 00:45:35,866 --> 00:45:38,357 You ever seen lead shot ricochet? 613 00:45:39,336 --> 00:45:43,966 One shot in that cage and you'll be mashed like a tomato in a blender. 614 00:45:45,609 --> 00:45:47,873 Well, then you'll know sod all, won't you? 615 00:45:47,945 --> 00:45:49,913 Knock it off! 616 00:45:49,980 --> 00:45:52,346 Where you are is of consequence of what you know, 617 00:45:52,416 --> 00:45:54,509 what you got from the old man's little books. 618 00:45:54,585 --> 00:45:58,681 When you're dead, I'll come over there and have access to both, right? 619 00:46:00,524 --> 00:46:02,719 Maybe we can do a deal. 620 00:46:02,793 --> 00:46:05,921 Whatever there is is strictly for the two of us. 621 00:46:06,630 --> 00:46:08,598 And what'll she end up with? 622 00:46:11,602 --> 00:46:14,002 "The two of us"? 623 00:46:14,071 --> 00:46:15,868 I do know. 624 00:46:15,939 --> 00:46:18,908 And I'm not sharing it with some frigid lizard like you! 625 00:46:18,976 --> 00:46:21,171 You think I'm screwing around, huh? 626 00:46:35,292 --> 00:46:36,520 Lovejoy? 627 00:46:40,030 --> 00:46:42,055 Lovejoy? 628 00:46:43,767 --> 00:46:45,632 Lovejoy? 629 00:46:47,171 --> 00:46:49,662 I had to, he was gonna shoot you. 630 00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:52,499 He was like a crazy thing. 631 00:46:52,576 --> 00:46:55,739 - I didn't mean to, I was so afraid... - It's all right, it's all right. 632 00:46:55,813 --> 00:46:58,247 He was so obsessed by some fanciful idea. 633 00:46:58,315 --> 00:47:01,716 It wasn't fanciful. There is something, I know where it is. 634 00:47:01,785 --> 00:47:03,412 - You do? - Like a flash. 635 00:47:03,487 --> 00:47:06,320 It's funny what fear can do to you. Pairs. 636 00:47:06,390 --> 00:47:08,449 Bexon's clues were all in pairs. 637 00:47:08,525 --> 00:47:13,553 Two Roman coins, two sketches, two Isabella's, two diaries. 638 00:47:13,630 --> 00:47:17,794 Listen, I want you to get back, find my friends Eric and Jane. 639 00:47:17,868 --> 00:47:21,235 Yes, I know where they are, that's how we were able to follow you. 640 00:47:21,305 --> 00:47:24,206 Well, wait with them, for me, OK? 641 00:49:21,191 --> 00:49:24,490 Ysbal, original Isabella. 642 00:49:29,967 --> 00:49:31,992 (Gun is cocked) 643 00:49:32,069 --> 00:49:34,469 This is where we say goodbye. 644 00:49:34,538 --> 00:49:37,735 - Oh, you wouldn't use that. - I pushed Edward. 645 00:49:37,808 --> 00:49:39,139 You were saving me. 646 00:49:39,209 --> 00:49:42,406 I would have pushed him sooner or later. 647 00:49:44,181 --> 00:49:49,448 This treasure buys a ticket to a lot of things and he was never to be included. 648 00:49:49,519 --> 00:49:53,751 - Don't suppose he was your brother. - No, we were partners. 649 00:49:53,824 --> 00:49:55,121 But he was weak and scared. 650 00:49:55,192 --> 00:49:59,492 You wouldn't have known we'd got the drawings if he'd finished off that gay dealer. 651 00:49:59,563 --> 00:50:01,463 While we were having our cozy lunch. 652 00:50:29,993 --> 00:50:31,290 (Screams) 653 00:50:40,170 --> 00:50:42,638 - Lovejoy? - Darling? 654 00:50:44,041 --> 00:50:48,478 You know when you're in prison, sewing mail bags and eating baked beans, 655 00:50:48,545 --> 00:50:51,446 you'll look back fondly on our cozy little lunch. 656 00:51:23,046 --> 00:51:25,879 - Lovejoy. - Yes, sweetheart? 657 00:51:28,518 --> 00:51:31,749 Lovejoy, there's something I have to get off my chest. 658 00:51:31,822 --> 00:51:35,553 - Oh, I hope it's your sweater. - No, I'm serious. 659 00:51:35,625 --> 00:51:38,958 And I want you to be. And honest. 660 00:51:39,029 --> 00:51:41,054 What is it? 661 00:51:41,131 --> 00:51:44,623 When we turned over the coins to the authorities, well... 662 00:51:44,701 --> 00:51:47,727 frankly, there didn't seem to be all that many. 663 00:51:49,372 --> 00:51:52,671 - I suppose what I'm trying to say is... - Did I take any? 664 00:51:52,742 --> 00:51:54,539 Well, yes. 665 00:51:55,612 --> 00:51:58,137 I'm taking the share of the value, which we all are. 666 00:51:58,215 --> 00:51:59,910 Which will pay my rent, my car, 667 00:51:59,983 --> 00:52:02,952 and I'll have a little money left over as a cushion to live on. 668 00:52:03,019 --> 00:52:06,113 That keeps me ahead of the game. Nose in front. 669 00:52:06,189 --> 00:52:09,158 That's all I ask from life, I thought you'd understand that. 670 00:52:13,730 --> 00:52:15,357 Sorry. 671 00:52:18,802 --> 00:52:20,099 You're forgiven. 672 00:52:29,079 --> 00:52:31,274 - Any messages? - Lots of bills. 673 00:52:33,750 --> 00:52:38,244 Lovejoy, are there some coins in this pocket? 674 00:52:39,489 --> 00:52:41,389 For a rainy day, Eric. 675 00:52:44,961 --> 00:52:46,929 For a rainy day.